Toughest Time of My Life

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein.

We all have our happy moments and sad moments. The time where we are free and have nothing to do, and the time where we need to work our ass off. All those moments sum up our life. This post is to remember the toughest time I had to deal with my life.

It was May 2019, the beginning of the new semester. I used to teach BE civil engineering and at the same time, I was also pursuing my Master’s III semester. We, teachers, were assigned to teach 20 hours per week (that would include generally teaching two subjects). Teaching 20 hours per week is one heck of a job, but at that semester I was assigned 28 hours per week, and that included teaching four of the hardest subjects in civil engineering (Applied Mechanics, Theory of Structures, Computation Techniques, and Earthquake Resistant Design of Structures). Also, I was assigned to supervise two project groups. This already seems burdensome but I had one more task as a part of my job, and that was to provide training to two groups on Analysis and Design using Finite Element software.

I was always one of the most energetic people in my department, but it was not always the same then. Along with my teaching job, I had classes of my own to attend from 5 PM to 8 PM. I had to leave my house at 6:30 AM to teach and I used to return at 8:30 PM after attending my evening classes. Also, it was the construction phase of our house. Being a civil engineer, I had to allocate time for the construction of my own house. Life was all about the rush, with so much work to do and so little time in a day I wished a day had more than 24 hours.

I have a small family of 4 people, and with my sister going for abroad study, I had to (liked to) arrange a dedicated family time. My routine was almost the same, wake up at 6 AM, go to college, start teaching from 7 AM to 3 PM, return home to supervise the construction, leave for my master’s classes at 4:30 PM, and then return home at 8:30 PM. We all then ate dinner, I had separated 1 hour dedicated time for my family, where I would just listen to mummy and baba talking, and sometimes online call with my sister too. I then had to prepare for the classes for the next day, it would take an hour or two. The night used to end with usual chatting with my then friends.

Even though with all the rush, that phase was the most memorable phase of my life to date. I hardly felt low, I was happy with what I was doing. I, from my small age, wanted to be a part of family finance, helping my family with finances made me proud of myself. With all the rush, I had very little time for myself, that phase was particularly an unhealthy phase for me. But, spiritually I was motivated. I was happy from inside. At weekends I used to wake up early, stay in my room (my parents unaware of me waking up) and hear my family talk about me. The happiness they felt seeing me gain my maturity (though my family had very little idea of how much I was working) always motivated me to continue my work. The one who motivated me at that time was my other family, my co-workers. Never in my life had I met such a wonderful and positive people. They encouraged me, they always appreciated me for what I was doing. They never let me down. I always felt happy being around them. They were there to listen to me, they were there to guide me through my journey, overall their hard work made me feel, if they can I should try too.

Fortune favors the brave they said, and I was quite fortunate. I got an opportunity from college to take part in research writing training, also, I was the topper of that semester in my master’s class securing 91.67% (the highest I have secured in my life). Everything went well, the classes I took were good, I cleared my master’s, the construction of my house was successful. Just after that phase, I even played a futsal tournament for the first time, our team won and I was awarded the best goalkeeper award.

All these things make me think of life in a very different way. It makes me think of the time I was sleep-deprived, of the time I was always in a rush, of the time when I was physically exhausted, of the time where I needed 3 days rest because of voice strain (teaching too much), of the time I wished I could give my students more time, of the time I wished a day had more than 24 hours. I remember the time I broke down twice or thrice. All I wished at that time was oh God let this three-month pass, I kept pushing myself saying 3 more months to go.

That was the toughest duration I had in my life. I had the challenges to overcome and to some extent I did. I was only able to do so because of the support I had. Because of the trust that my family and colleagues had on me. Because of the love from my students and mostly because I had no other option but to continue.

In life, we come across many situations where we ask ourselves why we? But maybe that’s what life is. I made so many stupid decisions back then and regretted them instantly. Maybe life is all about making stupid decisions and accepting them no matter what.

When I look back at that time I smile and think if I can go through that I must be able to accept the new challenge for life is all about the challenges!!!